UPON WAKING, ANOTHER KIND OF SLEEP
She had never touched a dead thing before. No, that wasn’t true. She had dissected things in high school science class, hadn’t she? An earthworm, a frog, a fetal pig, all with the sickening sour smell of formaldehyde. And even then she had made her lab partner do most of the work. But never anything she had known as alive. She wasn’t prepared for the hardness of it, the absolute stillness. Her husband’s
arm was warm and yielding in comparison as she touched it to wake him.
“Hmm,” he managed, his eyes remaining closed.
“It’s over,” she murmured. “He’s gone.”
So the editor wrote back:
“I have to be honest, I don't know who died. And if I am confused, I know that others will be too. You might consider using less of your 100 words talking about dead stuff she has touched in the past, and more to show really what's going on, so the reader feels more engaged in the plot.”
Ok. So the editor didn’t like the ambiguous ending. Fine. It’s a matter of taste. Lots of people don’t like ambiguous endings. I can accept that. What bothers me is that the editor thought that it was unintentional. I thought it was quite obvious that it was intentional. I mean, I’d have to be a REALLY bad writer to have meant that story to be totally clear (as in, who the “he” was), but then, I forget just how bad some of the writing is that comes across an editors desk.
I don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t work. I did go back and forth with myself about whether to leave the ending that ambiguous or to reveal who had died. But, personally, I like ambiguous endings, so I wrote it the way I did. Am I wrong? Give me your opinion. Because, I do like it, and actually, I had an idea about writing a drabble chapbook. Hmm? What do you think? About the chapbook and the story itself.
And don't worry, in my utter despair I haven't forgotten...
Your Irish curse of the day:
MAY YOU HAVE NEITHER MEAT NOR SOUP
Love to you.
